We spent a lot of time on this year’s Sustainable Gifts Catalog trying to perfect the tone we use in our item descriptions. Here’s a peek at one of the (actual) rejected first attempts at trying to make a sales pitch for our goats:
Goats are known for their desire to constantly climb, then stand upon, the highest structure in their field of view, keeping frisky watch over their surroundings. When they see danger approaching, they nervously begin to chew their “alarm can,” which is an old soup tin filled with ball bearings, thus alerting any nearby birds and/ or light sleepers that there’s trouble on the horizon. After that, the goat usually just stays on its perch and bears silent witness to whatever follows. Ever look a goat in the eye? They’ve seen some heavy stuff.
And here’s another bit of surplus goat-age, which is ironically about avoiding a goat surplus:
Needless to say, we’ve run the numbers, and a goat surplus is best avoided. They’re virtually no help to us around the office while they wait to be adopted. Just try and get a goat to load a new toner cartridge into a printer. Not only is it mechanically difficult to do with hooves, but they’re really surly, and give us dirty looks when we ask them to do basically anything.
We’re not “kid”-ding about this being a real first draft. There’s a bit of a learning curve to these things.